Big Magic

You know how sometimes there's a conflicting vibe on your mind and you just have to figure it out?

So it is with print competition for me.

I'm not the only one. I see on social media what other photographers are saying. I have friends that are photographers and I hear what they say also. What they say loudly and what the say softly. (Because we know not everything loud isn't the same as everything whispered). There's the "this will push you to be better" and the "this is a game so just learn to play it and you'll do great" and the "but it's too hard" and "but I'm too out of the box"... I actually see all the sides to this. I enter IPC which is International Photo Competition. There's also a district, state and local version. You're supposed to start local, take the feedback and learn as you enter on up to National. I've only entered locally and Nationally. I do better in the big competition than I do in the local one.

I made a deal with myself to enter EVERY MONTH this year, locally. I've done it so far. I've not done with each month, but also not really "learned" from my critiques.

Which leads me to: Why am I entering every month? Should I keep doing it?

Should I enter and not bother listening to feedback? (This strikes FOMO into my heart like nothing else in the world.)

Should I stop local and just enter Nationally? Should I find a different competition that leans towards what I actually do?

Because, I'm artsy. I'm weird artsy. My top inspirations when it comes to photographers DO NOT ENTER and probably never will. So it isn't a "must do".

It's a weird debate in my head and in my heart. I love the notion of a challenge. I love striving to do better all the time. I love the notion of doing well.

Awards. Titles. Winning.

Who doesn't?

It's been a struggle for me for a while. Is it worth it? Is it not? Do I just need a different competition? But then, is my struggle a cop out? I can spiral into a debate with every side of every emotion and thought....and debate every angle to eternity.

Simultaneously, I am a huge bookworm. I love inspiring books and my latest read was "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert.

If you haven't read it. Do it.

It's a great kick in the pants for a creative. Or anyone, honestly, because who ISN'T creative?

Towards the end of this book, though....was a fabulous tie back to my competition debate. It says,

"There is a famous question that shows up, it seems, in every single self-help book ever written: What would you do if you knew that you could not fail?

But I've always seen it differently. I think the fiercest question of all is this one: What would you do even if you knew that you might very well fail?

What do you love doing so much that the words FAILURE and SUCCESS essentially become irrelevant?

What do you love even more than you love your own ego?

How fierce is your trust in that love?"

Well. WHOA.

Back to competing. Do I love it so much I want to just keep entering? Or is my love and passion and wonder and inspiration actually geared more towards staying curious about the art I can create? Do I need to enter and fail? Do I need to be judged? Do I simply need to CREATE?!

I know, for me, I need a challenge. I am a workout FREAK if I'm in a room full of people working out. I am a bikram yoga ADDICT if I have a class to go to. I am top of the class in a college class situation. I love being inspired and challenged by people. I do my best in that area. I'm a sloth when it comes to doing a workout by myself at home to some recorded workout thing. I've restarted my workouts a million times. I've gained a billion pounds since covid began because I have no accountability of someone to workout WITH. So I don't. Or, I sort-of do.

Would I be the same with art? I'm honestly wondering. I am creating in my studio all the time. I also am creating in the darkroom. I'm also in the midst of creating one of a kind thank you notes with alternative processes. So, do I need an accountability challenge?

This makes me curious.

What's your big magic? What would you do if you knew you'd fail? Would you need a team? A partner? A cohort? Or would you be content going at it alone?

I think it speaks to passion as well as self motivation. I'm not really sure.

So join in on my inner debate here, friends.

And if you haven't read BIG MAGIC by Elizabeth Gilbert...I recommend it greatly!

Click here for more about BIG MAGIC

You give me your insight, and I'll keep you posted on my create or compete journey. DEAL?