Fourth of July.
What a weird year to celebrate it all. I mean, it HAS been weird for a while.
Being a free spirited girl living in a less than free spirited town in a less than free spirited state. I feel it, hear it, see it all.
I'm pretty good at seeing all the sides of things. It's even a joke in my family. When someone comes to me with an issue, it's pretty common that I answer with, "well, I see both sides..." It what I try to do.
So from taking a knee to equality to marriage to guns to babies to all the things....I see the sides. Seeing many sides means that I also see most things in grey. Not black and white, but a solid grey. There's always things on both sides that make sense. But there's 90 percent of grey that has to touch each one of us.
I believe all people are worth everything. I don't care about the details of the person. I tend to even feel badly for criminals because I want to know "whyyyyy" so for normal differences, I don't tend to bat an eye. Because it usually doesn't affect me. If you're good people, I'm good. Right? Minutia is the spice.
I see...and have seen for a lot of years now. That there's a group of people trying to make us better and a group trying to make us worse. (Sometimes the sides even switch) Each side thinks they're the ones making things better. Sadly, some of this bettering sure takes a lot of rights away from some others. It makes me sad.
I agree with the protest of taking a knee. I get it. It had nothing to do with military and everything to do with equality. "Let's do better. We can be so much better. I don't like what's going on now and let's do better." I hear and see that people misunderstood and somehow thought it was about military. I get it. I was even kicked out of the local chamber of commerce for not backing the standing one hundred percent. Yeah.
I agree with having babies, loving babies, and raising babies. I have babies. I have grand babies and I have foster babies. I photograph mostly children and I love love love the babies and kids. I also understand that simply resting on just this "love of Babies" can be a slippery slope for so many convoluted situations that I have not experienced. I've also had miscarriages and my last daughter was stillborn. I understand things to a degree. I understand how things get twisty and I understand, supporting someone is bigger than judging someone. I understand the "if you don't like that don't have that". I understand medical need. I understand loving someone and supporting them. Oversimplifying is dangerous.
I am not a gun person. But I have family that hunts, collects guns (historical ones) or has one for protection. All good. But if you have mental issues? No. I see both sides here but stand firmly on the "control". (I know, I know...second amendment and muskets) I have personal experience with a variety of gun issues, shootings, death, and normalcy. I'm also not anti-alcohol, although I will shout to the rooftops not to drink and drive. You are able to fit into the grey on many things. There's not much need to debate things as much as we do.
So I sit and watch. I feel the sides. I feel the judgement and the misunderstanding. There's a lot I don't understand, too. We are the same.
And I wonder
Should I be celebrating this Independence Day? Should I live my best American pride thinking of Alexander Hamilton and the FABULOUS play by Lin Manuel Miranda? The one that I have memorized and can even do some of the dances? Their foresight? Their intelligence? Their dreams? I mean, they freaking rocked their goals. I'll firework all day err day for that! That's inspiring IN THE LEAST!
But to backslide? To not move forward as we should? To not have the compassion for others that we should? To smite people with pious judgement? To have really weird education in schools? To not have healthcare that everyone has access to? I don't have any desire to celebrate that.
But then, I have a child in my home right now. A child that I love. A child that knows nothing of these debates and struggles. A child that doesn't even need that stress or confusion. I believe in childhood. I believe in awe and wonder and inspiration and goals and good.
So while my heart is conflicted. We will sit and watch fireworks while listening to patriotic music. We will play with sparklers and we will go to the parades. We will watch Hamilton for the 2 billionth time and sing loudly.
And I will hope.
By the time these kids are adults, I sure hope they've figured out how to live in harmony. Accept differences. Not be afraid. Live greatly. Help raise one another up. And stay as inspired for the awesome as they were when they watched fireworks explode when they were a kid.
P.S. This isn't meant to get you twisty. Don't get defensive. Realize everything has a touch of grey, as the Grateful Dead said. And that's where the beauty is. So smile and be happy and wonderful and go inspire a child. And maybe, it'll inspire you, too! It's what I'm hoping for me!
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