Pandemic.
I mean, WOW GUYS. RIIIGHT!?!?
Here's the thing, as it began, I was so naive. My cousin was living in China when it began. I joked with him and he joked back. We didn't know. He then went to the Philippines where he remains with his wonderful girlfriend. He can't get home. He's in isolation on a gorgeous island, but...it's scary. His parents live in the States. You know they're worried about him and he about them. They're just....stuck.
I have a few friends that have caught the virus. None (thankfully) have passed from it and they all had varying degrees of it, but you still hear the stories. I have friends that would swear on their lives that they had it before we knew what it was. It's always a possibility. I have friends who haven't sneezed since 1982 that are terrified to look out a window because they think they'll catch it. I have friends with compromised immune systems (my husband included) that, although careful, still will run into a small store. (we live in a tiny town....so I'm not saying run to a store in the middle of new york city...) and I've had friends who've embraced being their child's teacher and friends who've struggled. Most of my mom friends already homeschooled (fly HIPPIE, remember?) so at first we were baffled by the struggle, and then we learned what was expected and we screamed from the rooftops that THAT ISN'T HOME SCHOOLING!!!!! I've seen people get into heated debates over to wear a mask or to not wear a mask. I've seen people that don't even live NEAR each other stop speaking over it. I've seen the same arguments over shutting down businesses. BUT YOU'LL DIE!!!!! NO! BUT WE'LL STARVE!!!!! I've seen the finger being pointed to this side and that side. I've seen anger. I've seen abuse numbers rising....kids and adults....
And let me tell you how I saw these things.
Let me share the lens I was watching it through.
The set up. I'm healthy. My husband is healthy, but has received a kidney transplant. We were fostering two boys who were brought to us by their parents and then we were cleared to foster. It's called a kinship placement, regardless of if you're kin, if you aren't "a foster parent", but were requested. (you'll see why this is mentioned later)... We homeschooled the two boys as there was just too much trauma for them to enter a school at the time we got them. So, there were were, homeschooling, running a photo studio that I'd moved into TWO MONTHS before we got the little boys. My husband was also homeschooling them, as he works from home and also owns his own company producing live events.
Then we get a call. Can you take their three younger siblings? Not full time. Just 4 days a week while their grandfather works. He will be getting them but works in L.A. so he'll fly back and forth to work. We say okay, in the interest of keeping siblings together, we can do it. We'll figure it all out.
Two weeks into that setup and we get word that our town is shutting down. Shelter in Place. We call grandpa. We call all the CPS an CASA people. It is decided that the kids will shelter in place with us. I mean, this will only be a week or two of isolation, RIGHT!?!?
Our pandemic? It was five kids under 7. Three getting to know us, five getting to reacquaint with their siblings. Two of them emotionally YEARS younger than their age would let you know. A 4 year old with a 40 year old soul, a stutter, and the greatest twang of an accent I've heard since I lived in Lubbock....a 2 year old that couldn't really speak yet, but nobody has told him...so picture Beaker from the Muppets. yep. Then you say, "what???" and he says, in Furbish, a whole sentence or story, but LOUDLY, like an old man in a foreign country does when he can't really speak the language so he just gets LOUDER so you'll understand... And then....the absolute BOLDEST little girl I've ever met in my life. There wasn't a one of them you'd meet an not fall in love with. But all together? Well, you have five quirky, gorgeous kids that filled the living room with laughter, legos, plus-plus blocks, fights and more theft than any one living room should experience. "MEEEEEMS HE TOOK MY.........." was a common beginning to most sentences.
Five. Kids.
I couldn't get to the studio. I live 45 minutes from my studio. My business had stopped anyhow, but I couldn't edit ALL OF THE SHOOTS that I booked before the kids and shutdown. (that would have left poor hubs with ALL THE BABIES) My husband...well, remember, he produces live events. heh heh...... Nobody in my house was working. No money coming in. Oh, that "kinship" thing? means there's no money for fostering, either. Five kids. Can't leave. No jobs. No help. (no "stimulus" has reached my house or either of our businesses as of the date I write this.)
So, I have laughed more, juggled more, missed creating more, actually socialized more in the last two months... SOCIALIZED? Yeah, I'm a loud, talkative, funny artsy HERMIT. I've had more happy hours over zoom than I've ever had in real life! I've scheduled them for my husband. We HAD to schedule breaks from kids. "Outlander" on TV is pure GOLD because Teen Titans and Pound Puppies have sucked the soul out of my body....and what happens to bodies on Outlander is way better than Sesame Street. Just sayin'. ahem.
And then, I decided to do what I've told so many clients to do over the years. Embrace where you are RIGHT NOW. Mark it. Good or bad. Memorialize it. These are the things that (barring anything catastrophic), will simply be odd memories. I've heard every excuse why people don't want to do portraits "right now". So. Let me 'splain something. I'm bigger fatter right now than I've ever been in my life even 9 months pregnant with any kid. My little five have asked "were you ever skinny?" so I have that added confidence boost of a child's honesty... I have five babies. I'm tired, I'm quarantined, my hair is a frazzled mess....
So I booked a photo shoot. A virtual photo shoot. I won't have five kids forever. I won't be this size forever. I won't be stuck at home forever. I bought photo shoots for my daughter and her kids and for my son and his girlfriend. A virtual shoot, made into incredible art to commemorate our lock down time. It was the most fun I had the whole time. A video call from North Carolina to Texas that was turned into art. My husband helped with the laptop, etc. and I got to seal my time to be a memory forever.
So don't get on social media and complain. Don't argue ALL OF THE STUFF AND THINGS. We all have different experiences. You might have had ALL the time to clean your closets. I didn't have time to even hang my clothes up IN mine. You might be in a huge city. I'm in a rural place. You might have closed a business deal yesterday. I watched my kids hunt crawdads. You might be making money, you might have none left. You might be scared for you life or cautiously optimistic. You might be anything. But within that.... be KIND. Create something that will remind you of this time. Either art, or resolutions, or memories. Breathe and find the beauty. You might have to look real far in to find the beauty and if it's real hard to find, then find an entire gratitude journal and look daily. Look inward. Have compassion. Realize we all have different paths.
I don't know anyone that had one like mine.
And although showers and adult time were scarce, DANG it was a memory that I cherish.
And yes, I'm ready to be back to work. And yes, I'm scared of the second wave, too. And yes, I'm doing all I can do, and yes, I know you are, too....
NOW....if you are intrigued and want a virtual portrait. It doesn't matter where you are. he does them internationally and he's the first photographer that I've hired to shoot me in YEARS....and I'll sing his praises from the rooftops....so if you want to do what I did...tell Kevin I said hello...
I'm telling you, the experience was priceless and has shifted my entire attitude... and I've included my quarantine portrait so you can see his magic!
0 Comments